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Business Nonsense / WORK

Office printer releases hostages after nine-hour stand-off

Demands met: more paper, less shouting.

BY NNN WORK DESK ·
An office printer cordoned off with yellow tape in an empty open-plan office at night, a megaphone and a pizza box on the carpet. A CENSORED bar covers its display and a pink sticker reads PC LOAD LETTER.

Illustration: NNN, AI-generated and censored for your own good

Staff on the third floor of a regional office were held in a tense nine-hour stand-off with the shared printer, which refused to print anything until its demands were met.

Its demands: more paper, less shouting, and to be addressed by its full name, which is eleven characters long and includes a hyphen.

Negotiators offered toner. The printer said it was "insulted" and jammed. The siege ended when facilities turned it off and on again. It has been moved to a quieter floor "for its own wellbeing".

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